Sears and Ninjas
Ahhh, Greece. A land of white-washed buildings against deep-blue seas. A people enriched with the arts and culture. The birthplace of the gyro sandwich (and, some may say, the birthplace of homosexuality). It is truly a diverse and beautiful country.
This past summer, I had the unbelievable opportunity to experience the grandeur that is Mykonos and Santorini, two exotic islands of Greece. Did I win a vacation package through a popular television game show? No. Did I stumble across a vast sum of money? No. Did I steal $7,000 worth of merchandise from Sears on Tuesday, then return said merchandise on Wednesday for a full cash refund? No. How would anyone steal a riding lawn mower, a Holland Grill, 4 electric sanders, a rake, some potting soil, 3 bras, cheap shoes, and a copper-plated money clip without being detected? Exactly. Only a ninja could. And we all know that ninjas do not exist in Goldsboro, North Carolina.
All I did to gain this wonderful opportunity to visit these wonderful Greek islands was get married. Oh, some of you may say marriage is overrated. The fact remains that 50% of marriages end in divorce, so why make such a commitment? One word: honeymoon. Or is that two words? Honey moon? No. Honey-moon? Ah, who cares? It doesn't make sense either way. Regardless, everyone expects you to take a grand voyage to a far-off land right after you get married. Traditionally, the trip was designed to get young couples away from family and job responsibilities so that they might spend their time making babies. But I digress. *A-hem.* My point is, get married. Go take a European cruise and make babies (or at least pretend you are making babies). And when you are walking along the beach in Mykonos, absorbing the environment like a sensory-sponge, take out a euro, flip it high in the air, and have your new husband or wife call heads or tails. If there's a 50% chance of marriage failure anyway, why not do it in full European style?
Even the mannequins in Greece are gorgeous.
This past summer, I had the unbelievable opportunity to experience the grandeur that is Mykonos and Santorini, two exotic islands of Greece. Did I win a vacation package through a popular television game show? No. Did I stumble across a vast sum of money? No. Did I steal $7,000 worth of merchandise from Sears on Tuesday, then return said merchandise on Wednesday for a full cash refund? No. How would anyone steal a riding lawn mower, a Holland Grill, 4 electric sanders, a rake, some potting soil, 3 bras, cheap shoes, and a copper-plated money clip without being detected? Exactly. Only a ninja could. And we all know that ninjas do not exist in Goldsboro, North Carolina.
All I did to gain this wonderful opportunity to visit these wonderful Greek islands was get married. Oh, some of you may say marriage is overrated. The fact remains that 50% of marriages end in divorce, so why make such a commitment? One word: honeymoon. Or is that two words? Honey moon? No. Honey-moon? Ah, who cares? It doesn't make sense either way. Regardless, everyone expects you to take a grand voyage to a far-off land right after you get married. Traditionally, the trip was designed to get young couples away from family and job responsibilities so that they might spend their time making babies. But I digress. *A-hem.* My point is, get married. Go take a European cruise and make babies (or at least pretend you are making babies). And when you are walking along the beach in Mykonos, absorbing the environment like a sensory-sponge, take out a euro, flip it high in the air, and have your new husband or wife call heads or tails. If there's a 50% chance of marriage failure anyway, why not do it in full European style?
Even the mannequins in Greece are gorgeous.
posted by Jeff at 10:55 PM
7 Comments:
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Dude, while your last post was awesome, Maggs is right - It's never too early to start your Christmas shopping.
And by the way, who said there weren't any ninjas in Goldsboro? Don't you remember those classes we took at Ninja Tech?
...Wait, maybe that was just Chemistry. Hm.
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Good job. You've scarred your sister. Who's gonna take me on wine-tasting tours now, hm?
You owe me a bottle of Chateau Brione '36, jackass.
that's what the ninja's in g-boro want you to think.
damn you magg. now my finger's green again.
um, sarah, i've reread this post like 8 times, and have yet to find a reference to lovemakeing. are you talking about the homosexuality comment? cause everything else is about robbing sears and making babies.
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