The Answer To All Your Worries

If I were you, I would have stopped checking this blog.

For a while there, I thought I would just put it to rest, placing it on a wooden raft and pushing it into the center of the lake from the shore, and shooting a firey arrow into its sallow heart. But then I noticed that it was still alive, and setting it ablaze in a ceremonial matter such as this would have been murder.

The excuses I have for not updating regularly in the past couple of months are, indeed, thin. I have had plenty of opportunity to sit at my computer to type out a paragraph or two of meaningless prose. I have been a little busier, this being the last month of my brief stint in Orlando, but I have been busy the entire year. Yet, with the anxiety of the job search breathing down my neck, I have found it difficult to conjure up a post worthy enough to share the same web space as the others.

Yet, there is life yet in The Beguiler. He came up to me a couple days ago and said something in a British accent about napkins being narcissistic, but I took that as his way of trying to beguile me. And the fact that he still has a desire to beguile tells me that he is healthy. I had to tell him to wait around for my cue, however. He understood, of course; he isn't that arrogant. And he silently bowed out of the room while I finished up my chicken salad sandwich. That is, after he punched me in the gut for the thought of killing him.

Hope is not lost, however. Because while I seek employment in the film industry, Windy is attempting to employ herself by making people like you happy with artwork. This means that you can spend all the time you would spend here at her website, which is fresh from the digital afterbirth of Internet Mother. There are even some photographs for sale that I took. I was going to sue her for copyright infringement, but then I remembered that I would lose money paying for the lawsuit and then we would lose even more money when I won the case. Actually, we wouldn't lose any money at all because she would just be paying me, and then I would just put it back into our bank account. But I could win. I could beat her, and that's what matters: beating your wife.

So, buy some art. In fact, upon your purchase of one of Windy's original paintings, drawings, or photographs, I will personally send you an email thanking you. What more could an art lover such as yourself want in life? If you have any ideas of ways you would like to support us, let us know. We have thought about making bumper stickers and t-shirts and jars of mosquitoes, but we are open for anything as long as you guys would buy them. Perhaps you would like a t-shirt with a picture of a jar of mosquitoes on it? I will make it. But I have to write windylampson.com on it somewhere. That's just how it has to be.