The End Times
Hold on...hold...just a second...
This is the good part...almost done...
Okay. I had to listen to the Beatles before I could type attentively. You know, with my new in-ear headphones, I could almost hear them getting high on "I Want You (She's So Heavy)." Such wonderful frequency balance and bass response, if I say so myself.
Enough about the Beatles. Let's talk about this "cold weather" trend that seems to have made its way into central Florida. It is late on Sunday night when I write this on February 12th (13th if you want to get technical. You jerk.) An average night here in Orlando gets down to about 60-65, maybe. I'm just guessing. Let's see, the days are about 70-75 (in the winter)...that sounds right.
Fine. I'll use this so called "technology" to look it up on the "internet." Please hold. (I'll restart Abbey Road for you.)
Okay. I'm back. And I was close; the average high during the day in February is 74. The average low is 51. Okay, so I was like 10 degrees off on my estimation. I told you I guessed, you jerk. Shouldn't you be working?
Anyway, I think it should be noted that right now it is 37 degrees outside! That's almost freezing you guys! If you are reading this (which, you must be) and you live in Orlando, stop what you are doing and run outside, bring in all of your plants, and close all of your windows. No, you don't have to worry about the squirrels and lizards and birds dying in the frigid air. This actually might be a good time to flip the little lever on your thermostat to the "Heat" setting (don't worry; despite rumors, your home will not explode).
In fact, the trusty internet is showing that tomorrow's high is a low 53, with the low bottoming out at 30. 30?!?!
Yes, 30.
Surely, this is a sign of the Apocalypse. I mean, look. The cold air is disintegrating me. You know, like in Back to the Future.
I'm scared. I'm so...scared.
This is the good part...almost done...
Okay. I had to listen to the Beatles before I could type attentively. You know, with my new in-ear headphones, I could almost hear them getting high on "I Want You (She's So Heavy)." Such wonderful frequency balance and bass response, if I say so myself.
Enough about the Beatles. Let's talk about this "cold weather" trend that seems to have made its way into central Florida. It is late on Sunday night when I write this on February 12th (13th if you want to get technical. You jerk.) An average night here in Orlando gets down to about 60-65, maybe. I'm just guessing. Let's see, the days are about 70-75 (in the winter)...that sounds right.
Fine. I'll use this so called "technology" to look it up on the "internet." Please hold. (I'll restart Abbey Road for you.)
Okay. I'm back. And I was close; the average high during the day in February is 74. The average low is 51. Okay, so I was like 10 degrees off on my estimation. I told you I guessed, you jerk. Shouldn't you be working?
Anyway, I think it should be noted that right now it is 37 degrees outside! That's almost freezing you guys! If you are reading this (which, you must be) and you live in Orlando, stop what you are doing and run outside, bring in all of your plants, and close all of your windows. No, you don't have to worry about the squirrels and lizards and birds dying in the frigid air. This actually might be a good time to flip the little lever on your thermostat to the "Heat" setting (don't worry; despite rumors, your home will not explode).
In fact, the trusty internet is showing that tomorrow's high is a low 53, with the low bottoming out at 30. 30?!?!
Yes, 30.
Surely, this is a sign of the Apocalypse. I mean, look. The cold air is disintegrating me. You know, like in Back to the Future.
I'm scared. I'm so...scared.
posted by Jeff at 12:35 AM
6 Comments:
I would just like to note that while Jeff did turn on the heat for the sake of the picture, it was turned off again promptly after. Steve Lies would be proud.
yeah...well...you and joey are PONZIS.
...ok, that was bad.
but, while we did not get snow, i think i may have seen a frosty layer on the grass.
and windy, you are up waaaay too early, woman.
and i think you would be proud of me because this morning i turned it on and kept it on.
Oh, I see how it works. You wait till I leave before you make the place warm and toasty.
By the way... Valentine's Day is tomorrow. (just a reminder)
I would just like to say that when I woke up this morning, the heat was on, the coffee was ready, and there was a spoon and a note. And then I got on Jeff's blog and saw where he got his ideas... while I still think it was sweet- next time you may want to give him hints in his email so I am unaware of where he is stealing his ideas. :)
oh crap, valentine's day is tomorrow. oh crap, tomorrow is today. oh crap.
actually, i had the heat on and the coffee made this morning too. and i made pancakes. take that jeffery.
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