Grin and Bear

Okay, so today (weirdest thing), I'm downtown in Winter Park with Windy spending our Valentine's Day together, when all of a sudden we see a bear. We were kind of freaked out by it at first, seeing as how we were just looking at shops in a public place. Who expects to stumble across bears in the city, anyway? Not us.

So there we were, face to face with a ferocious bear when I get the crazy idea to be friendly to it and treat it like anyone else I am threatened by. So I waved. That's all. Just a simple wave, just to say "hey Mr. Bear, I'm on your side." And what would you know, he waved back.

May this be a lesson to everyone out there to be indiscriminate. While someone may look like a man-eating bear (in a Hawaiian shirt, no less), they may in fact be a cordial person looking for a smile and a friendly gesture.

Incidentally, his name isn't Mr. Bear. It's Jim.

The End Times

Hold on...hold...just a second...

This is the good part...almost done...

Okay. I had to listen to the Beatles before I could type attentively. You know, with my new in-ear headphones, I could almost hear them getting high on "I Want You (She's So Heavy)." Such wonderful frequency balance and bass response, if I say so myself.

Enough about the Beatles. Let's talk about this "cold weather" trend that seems to have made its way into central Florida. It is late on Sunday night when I write this on February 12th (13th if you want to get technical. You jerk.) An average night here in Orlando gets down to about 60-65, maybe. I'm just guessing. Let's see, the days are about 70-75 (in the winter)...that sounds right.

Fine. I'll use this so called "technology" to look it up on the "internet." Please hold. (I'll restart Abbey Road for you.)

Okay. I'm back. And I was close; the average high during the day in February is 74. The average low is 51. Okay, so I was like 10 degrees off on my estimation. I told you I guessed, you jerk. Shouldn't you be working?

Anyway, I think it should be noted that right now it is 37 degrees outside! That's almost freezing you guys! If you are reading this (which, you must be) and you live in Orlando, stop what you are doing and run outside, bring in all of your plants, and close all of your windows. No, you don't have to worry about the squirrels and lizards and birds dying in the frigid air. This actually might be a good time to flip the little lever on your thermostat to the "Heat" setting (don't worry; despite rumors, your home will not explode).


In fact, the trusty internet is showing that tomorrow's high is a low 53, with the low bottoming out at 30. 30?!?!

Yes, 30.

Surely, this is a sign of the Apocalypse. I mean, look. The cold air is disintegrating me. You know, like in Back to the Future.


I'm scared. I'm so...scared.

Without Further Ado...

This is the reason there is such a huge rivalry between the two schools.

Lab Schlab

At least twice every year, the planets align and the heavens shake for it is at least twice a year that the forces of good and evil are placed inside the same space to battle for the prized "Ha Ha, We're Better Than You!" trophy. Tonight is one such night.

Where else but one's own couch in one's own living room would one watch the anticipated Duke/Carolina game? Well...I guess you could watch it at someone else's house, or at a bar, or perhaps in your bedroom. But one thing's for sure: one definitely can NOT watch said basketball game within the confines of a RECORDING STUDIO LAB THAT STARTS AT 9:00!!!!

Thank God for VCRs.

Hello. My name is Jeff, and I'm a Black & Tan Master

Tonight I poured my first successful Black & Tan, and I am pretty excited about it.

Excited enough that I am creating a new post just to document my experience.

Some of you may be confused as to what a "Black & Tan" is. Well, you ignorant few are in luck because tonight I documented my experience. But, as you can see, I am being redundant. Let's get on with it, shall we?

A traditional Black & Tan is composed of two different styles of beer, whereas one is poured in such a way that it floats atop the other. In most cases, the two beers are Bass Pale Ale and Guinness Stout. In my case tonight, however, I decided on Guinness Stout (a necessity) and Smithwick's Ale (a brew of Guinness). The ale is poured first and rests at the bottom, and the stout floats beautifully on the top so that you have the wonderful contrast of colors of black and tan. Bartenders are trained to pour it correctly every time, so that the two do not mix. However, at home, one must master the art of the delicate pour. The result is usually a Muddy Black, not a Black & Tan. Up until tonight, I have been a master at pouring a splendid Muddy Black.

You might be asking yourself, "what's the freaking point?" or, "does it really matter if the two beers mix?" or, "is this the most ridiculous post I've read on The Beguiler?" Valid questions, I'm sure. But the only answer I can give is, well...shut up. I'm excited, okay? Can you at least let me enjoy this experience with you? Okay then. Moving on.

Notice how there is just about the same amount of both beers in the glass. You will see that there happens to be more Guinness than Smithwick's; I didn't take into account that the Guinness wouldn't rest perfectly on top of the Ale without mixing a little due to density displacement. But still, I took a picture of it. Like I said before...I am excited.

Not excited enough not to drink it.

*Ahhhhh* Perfecto.

But that wasn't the end of it. You see, I had one Smithwick's Ale (12 oz.) and one Guinness (14.9 oz.), and one glass not sufficient enough to fit everything at once; I had some left overs. Mmmmmm, left over beeeerrrr.


And so I figured I would try pouring another Black & Tan. BEHOLD! Another successful pour!

Yeah, yeah. There's more Guinness than Smithwick's. But who's complaining?





I'm not.