Is There No Gray Area?

This is a caution sign I saw at Disney. Kindly leave your captions at the comment board. Thank you.

Excuse Me...Have You Seen My Sneeze?

Don't you hate it when you sneeze really hard and you know something has projected out of your mouth, but you can't find where it went? That just happened to me.

I'm sorry, Windy.

I Need a Cough Drop

I've been a little sick lately, but not in the traditional sense. I mean, I feel fine. It's just my throat hurts a little and I have a slight cough; my nose runs occasionally or gets stopped up; there is an unpleasant mucus at the back of my throat that regenerates after 5 minutes of disposal. But I feel okay. It's weird.

Anyway, this has been going on (and has evolved since its beginning) for some time now. It came fast one night, and I was indisposed in the bathtub or on the couch whilst my family entertained themselves around a Monopoly board. Whether or not they actually played Monopoly, I'm not sure. That night, the first night, was the worst. I thought I may have caught the flu. But alas, the following morning I felt fine.

A couple of days came and went with nothing if not for those rather unpleasant throat blobs, which I've had to eject every morning since. At one point, I thought I had a sinus infection. Now, my symptoms infer "cold," but my body seems to be in denial. Anyway, what I've been trying to get at is a conversation I had with my symptoms last night:

Me: So, whom do you represent? Because I am a little confused, to say the least.
Symptoms: (Laughter) What do you want to hear me say? Cold? Influenza? Come on, you're asking the wrong question, Jeff.
Me: (Long pause) Who sent you?
Symptoms: Now we're getting somewhere.
Me: (Long pause) Oh...cool.
Symptoms: Indeed.

Afterward, I climbed into bed with Windy already tucked away and sleeping. A short while later, I decided I shouldn't trust that my symptoms wouldn't invade her body in the still of night, and I got up and slept in the other room. And yet, that one question lingers: who sent you?

Who...sent you?

(Incidentally, my symptoms bear an uncanny resemblance to Jude Law).