I am Thankful for Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving time is probably one of my favorite times of the year, and let me tell you why.

You see, there comes a time each year when people get together at one of several venues around the country to watch ten guys with squeaky shoes run around on a wooden floor in an attempt to insert a leather sphere through a circular hole, otherwise known as a "basket," which is placed 10 feet from the ground. These ten fellows are divided equally into two sections, and each section is designated to defend one of the two "baskets" that are oppositely positioned across this wooden court. While one section, or team, defends its "basket," the other team must try to place the leather sphere, also known as a "basket" ball, in and through the opposing team's "basket." The ball can be thrown, lobbed, or placed directly through the "basket," each resulting in the scoring of either 2 or 3 points, depending on the location from which the team member released the ball (unless a team member happens to be fouled while attempting to score, in which case his "free" points are worth one point each).

This athletic event, or sport, is played by people of any age, sex, or race (although those of the darker-skinned variety are known to be more adept). However, I am inclined to enjoy watching male players in the 18-22 age range. At this specific point in a "basket" ball player's life, he is enrolled in a university. The competition between two university's "basket" ball teams is quite fierce, and the games are usually televised through cable wires or satellite waves into a television set. This way, university (or college) "basket" ball fans are able to enjoy a game without having to actually be present at a "basket" ball venue. However, when given the chance to see a game at its actual location, one will do so in order to experience the omni-sensory nirvana that is a "basket" ball game.
Generally, these competitions begin around Thanksgiving and will persist until late March. For me, this is a time of new beginnings, of new battles between old rivals, of budding players coming of age. It is college basketball season.


I also enjoy the food and seeing my family.

Like, totally?

Whenever I forget what university life was like, I read the ruminant literature of this young, college-going female. Her use of words along with her unashamed wit keep me coming back to read more, and each time I am swept away to my freshman year. Here is one of her better posts. You're welcome.

Monday, November 14, 2005
College Writing
Right now the movie "Two of a Kind" is on with Mary-Kate and Ashley Olson when they were younger, probally like ten. I used to watch that all the time when I was younger. It's a lot like the movie "It Take's Two" but a little different. Lets see, anyways last week I scheduled my classes. They are pretty good, none are before like 11:00 am, so thats good because I used to like to sleep in but lately I haven't really been doing that so much. I still like to get things done in the morning. I might be pledging a sorority next semester though, and if you do that you need to be at the sority at like 7 a.m. or something to cook them breakfast. Which would really defeat the whole purpose of me scheduling later classes because I wouldn't get to sleep in anways, jeeze! I have music class in one hour that is probally the most enjoyable class to attend, but I still don't really feel like going. I will though, because thats life. So I'm going to go review some stuff for the class. Chao.

Posted by: a chick that "probally" looks like this:

Krazy Kris

Thanks to my colleague, sir Spigo, the mystery of the Krazy Glue logo may be unraveled. According to Spigo (or S.P.I.G.O., an acronym for something about Coke and retirement homes. For all intents and purposes, let's just call him...I don't know...Glen), the plausible truth behind Steve, the construction worker, is that he was a breakdancer who was known for his headspins. This beats out the other theory that states he accidentally glued himself to a beam while at work. For comparison, Glen copied a link to this picture. Since I don't know this gentleman, nor what his name is, I will call him Krazy Kris from Omaha (or Kris for short).

While I am astounded by Kris' ability to gyrate his entire body while balancing perfectly on his head, I am even more astounded at the comparison of his moves to Steve's.

Look at the similarities:


Besides the gratuitous nipple action from Kris, these two photos are evidence that Steve, the construction worker, might've been better known as Krazy Steve, the breakin' headspinner. Thank you Glen for your insight.

That's some KRAAAZY GLUE!

I really hope I don't get sued or anything, but I need some answers. And I need them right now.

Some of you may have once purchased the wonderfully convenient and ever-adhesive miracle in a squeeze tube, Krazy Glue. I think it is a great product; nearly everything in my apartment is holding strong to the walls thanks to this stuff, including (but not limited to): mirrors, shoe organizers, Windy's paintings, about 27 cents in change, some clocks, the thermostat, a map leading to One-Eyed Willie's treasure, a couple (not so) sticky notes, and some other things.

But I can't, for the life of me, figure out just what the heck the logo on the packaging is supposed to mean. Seriously. Someone please write to me explaining this fellow in the yellow construction helmet. Why are his legs so grotesquely spread? Why are his arms behind his head as if he is comfortably resting after a hard day's work? Why does his face say "that's right. I work hard to pay the bills and I deserve everything I'm enjoying right now. Now go fix me a turkey sandwich"? Certainly this kind gentleman hasn't spread his legs as a gesture to show how much he likes Krazy Glue. That wouldn't make sense, would it?
I have actually sat down and studied this logo in hopes of reaching some speck of clarity. I went over some plausible scenarios that might actually lead to one being positioned like our friend here in the yellow hard hat...

Say Steve's at work on a Friday (I've named him Steve) and he's itching for the lunch horn to blow because he got to the construction site at 6 am and he is hungry for some left-over salisbury steak. Steve's been at odds with his good friend Eddie ever since Wednesday bowling night when Eddie crossed the line and said about Steve's wife, "she reminds of Charlize Theron in that movie Monster." Since Steve and Eddie work the same shift on the same site, it has been a little uncomfortable trying to avoid eye contact all morning.

Finally, Eddie approaches Steve and hands him a 20 dollar bill and says "that's for the poker game a couple months ago. I cheated and, well, here's the money you should've won. And, well, seeing as how the horn's about to blow in 3 minutes and all, I just thought I should say - and we both know how hard it is for me to say this - but the truth is, I shot your brother in the face."

Incredulous, Steve screams with rage as he rams his shoulder into Eddie's chest, knocking him to the ground. Wounded, but still wily, Eddie remembers his signature hold he used in high school to defeat the wrestling state champion, Larry Nusbaum, in 1982. Expecting this (since it's one of the moves he taught him), Steve counter-attacks with a swift throat grab and digs his vengeful fingers into Eddie's betraying neck, claiming his Adam's apple as a war bounty. Then, out of nowhere, the dragon of Narthex flies into the village, destroying the construction site and setting fire to all the stables, killing the horses and stable maids.

Just then, Sir Happenstance of Yorkstownshire arrives carrying scrolls marked with the king's stamp. "Lord Stephen," he says, "the king requests your presence tonight at the royal supper in hopes that you might bestow upon his jovial ears the fine music for which you are widely known." "Tell your 'king,' servant boy, that Lord Stephen is no jester in the courts," says Lord Stephen to the trembling messenger. "I will not be made a spectacle of in a land my ancestors have tried so desperately to overthrow. Besides," Lord Stephen says as he slowly approaches the boy, "the dragon of Narthex has just destroyed my home and the homes of my people. Furthermore, I just quarreled with my friend here. Here is the result." He forces the detached throat into the boys hands and says with a sinister grin, "tell the king this is the price you pay WHEN YOU INSULT LORD STEPHEN!!!"

This is pretty much how all of my scenarios end up. Except one included an SR-71 fighter plane and a water balloon fight/get-together.

It's time for Stream of Consciousness Image Commentary!

Google image search: "cloud image"

It looks like this mountain is hand-tossing a cloud pizza. Only, mountains don't have hands.




Google image search: "mountain hands"

This person is obviously strangling a roll of toilet paper. Perhaps his wife cheated on him with it.




Google image search: toilet paper affair

Looks like Mr. Toilet Paper Roll is getting it back home, too. Or is that Ms. Toilet Paper Roll?




Google image search: androgynous tissue

Did anyone see that movie Powder where the creepy albino guy transfers his life energy to a dead deer to bring it back to life? Well, it looks like this giant lizard got to that same deer not 30 minutes later. Sorry Powdie.