Bagpipes Are SO Predictable

Today I went to a Relay For Life rally, and the ceremonial lighting of the candles featured a traditionally clad bagpipe player who played "Amazing Grace" over and over until he made it around one full lap. It was a nice memorial for those who've lost their lives to cancer.

Yet as he passed us by, I was distracted by his full on Scottish garb. I'm not sure of many things in this world, but one thing I am sure of is when I hear a bagpipe off in the distance, it is being played by someone in Scottish regalia. I'd like to be proven wrong on this. Next time I hear bagpipes, why couldn't I see a guy in jeans, a t-shirt, and a Red Sox cap? Or maybe a chick in a dress and flip-flops? Perhaps this extreme contrast of elements would create such a dissonant reaction in my cognition that I would simply vomit and pass out. I don't know.

And another thing, I can always be sure that if there is someone playing the pipes, he will play "Amazing Grace" if he isn't already. I mean, come on. Let's get creative. "Piano Man" is a great song that I am sure would sound great coming from this fine instrument. What do you think? Live's "I Alone?" Yes, I think so. R.E.M's "It's the End Of the World As We Know It?" A must hear.

To Study or Not To Study...

Look at me. Just look at me.

Sitting here at the computer typing words upon words...it's just sad. I know what I should be doing, but yet I distract myself. I should be studying for my final tomorrow morning. But alas, my text books sleep heavily inside my pregnant backpack, dormant and alone, longing to be thumbed through and highlighted. And still I sit.

Just look at me.

My growing list of distractions and sub-priorities becomes more and more ridiculous as each minute passes. There are things I need to do, like take the rent check to the leasing office, and there are the many things that catch my eye as I look around the room for something other than books:

Oh look! My guitar sings her sweet, siren's song inside her wooden case-cage. I must rescue her presently, and tame her with my gentle hands.

Hark! The television beckons, and I am swayed by its free HBO. Confused at such a tempting offer, I watch the end of Anchorman.

And lo, the darkness that lurks within the confines of my entertainment center/microwave stand churns and is awakened by my wanting soul. Indeed, Resident Evil is a suitable name for the game it represents, and I give in to its authoritative order.

No, I will not let my procrastination win. Not now. Not this time. I know what I must do, and I will take a stand of determination and self-control and put aside these useless hindrances! If not now, never!

...But first, I should eat some lunch and get to a save point in my game.

Joke of the Day...

I Can't Sleep...

Sometimes I get those forwards that say something like, "Jesus died for your sins. If you love Jesus, you will forward this message to 10 people." As a Christian, I can say to you with confidence that the amount of forwards you send is not directly proportionate to your love for Jesus.

On a completely unrelated note, I'd like to say congrats to my bro for signing up with the United States Navy. He leaves next Tuesday for boot camp in Chicago. Hoo-rah, or something.

On another completely unrelated note, I will be traveling to San Francisco and Los Angeles in April to scope out the area for jobs.

And, because this isn't a formal post like my others, I leave you with a diagram of a chair. Enjoy.

If Colin Powell and Sarah Silverman had a Child...

Windy emailed me from work today not only once, but twice. Of course one of them didn't count because it was a forward. However, the other one was the results of her ________ test.

If the first thing you thought was "pregnancy" test, you were wrong. GOTCHA!!

If the first thing you thought of was "celebrity face recognition" test, you were dead on. There is this crazy website that allows you to upload your face and then have it scanned and matched with a celebrity who most resembles you. Incidentally, there is another crazy website about this guy who actually believes he is Peter Pan.

Anyway, she uploaded her face and the site came back saying she most resembles actress Amanda Peet, with an accuracy of 72% (You can view it here). Not bad, I thought. Maybe I should give it a go.

So, I began by taking a photo of myself a la MySpace.com. After viewing the photo, I came to the conclusion that I am, in fact, quite attractive.

"Which celebrity would match up with my face," I wondered as the photo was loading. If you were to ask me, "hey Jeff, who do you think will turn out to look most like you?" I would have said, "well, it would be flattering if it turned out that Brad Pitt and I shared similar characteristics." If you were then to ask me, "who do you think looks less like you?" I might've said after careful deliberation, "that one comedian chick, Sarah Silverman. Or Colin Powell."

Coming in at number one for looking most like me, with a 70% resemblance accuracy, is none other than comedian Sarah Silverman.


Following her at a close second is former United States Secretary of State, Colin Powell.

While Windy may have been flattered to resemble a hot actress, I'm not so sure if I should be flattered to resemble a hot, Jewish comedian. It's not like it was Ben Stiller or Jon Stewart. It was a chick.

However, I am quite flattered to look like Colin Powell.

Honorable mentions go to Val Kilmer, Benicio del Toro, Jennifer Connelly, and Chuck Yeager. You can see my results directly by clicking here.

And here's something just for fun.